was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
