even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize