U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
