I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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