She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
