I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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