That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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