Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
