I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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