why didn't you poke me back
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
