Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
