yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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