I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Green mimosas i think yes
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
