OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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