we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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