I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
