Will you blow on my dice?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
