You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
