I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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