Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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