i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
