Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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