areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
