My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
