Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
