Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
