watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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