I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
