I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
