peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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