Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
