Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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