The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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