You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize