the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
