And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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