i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She bit a glass in half.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
