Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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