Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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