Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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