Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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