Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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