I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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