She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
