I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
me + whiskey = a bad person
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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