Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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