Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Drake has all the answers
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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