I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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