we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
