I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's never too late to be topless.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
where are my eyebrows?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
