Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
