He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
