i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
