The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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