We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
