I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
