So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
