he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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