this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
