I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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