She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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