My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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